My Dogs Bladder Cancer TCC

When they said my dogs bladder cancer (Transitional Cell Carcinoma TCC) was very aggressive they weren't kidding. I found out a month ago that his "stones" was actually a large tumor on his bladder wall where it was calcifying.  They told me he would probably "not make it to christmas" but my gut said way sooner. He was dead a month later on labor day 2017.

What I didn't know is he was in Stage IV and eventually it was an invasive tumor that would cut into his urethra and cause him to hemorrhage blood(where it didn't look like it was going to stop. When the diaper was pink I was in denial about it being blood, but that was when I should have gone in and got them to use a catheter. My mother being a nurse practitioner said he could have possibly been in a pool of his blood if had taken him later.

Here's some more info on TCC. Theres also a great dog cancer chat room called dogs with cancer where u can get other great advice and tips how to prolong your pets life.

The nitty gritty of a dog with stage 4 cancer....
I was going thru it here and in my anger and bargaining phases.

Its an awful place to be to decide to put your love of almost 13 years to sleep. I've never killed anything especially my child whose security I put before mine for 12 years.

I held him as a baby 12 yrs ago and told him he'd always be taken care of no matter what. I was almost homeless at one point cuz no one would take him. I was planning on staying in my car untill my friend annette came along at the last minute.

At one point I had a nervous breakdown about 10 yrs ago where I would get really scared of people and my extreme moods. I'd hold him during these times and always felt safer and that everything would be ok. He was like a service dog for me for a lot of years and we had a very close emotional bond.

For years I would force him to jump up on the bed and cuddle with me until he fell asleep. I loved hearing his breathing change from fast to slow. He'd eventually wake up and then he'd go to his end of the bed and stay there.

But in his last 2 yrs his hips got arthritis and he couldn't jump up anymore like the first 10 yrs of his life. He was only able to get on my sisters low futon with help and I was so jealous she got to cuddle with him every day. She'd yell at me a lot to "get out of her bed" cuz it was my favorite place to be.

He was such a heartbreaker especially with men. When he was a baby I was in an abusive relationship where id get yelled at for hours and it made quite an impression. Because for the rest of his life after we got away he was very wary of men. It was funny to watch them try to win him over. Very few did but when it happened I knew they were good ones.

Sometimes because of the mental health issues, alcoholic family I grew up in that gave me trust issues, and my own addiction(sober over 5 yrs) I find its hard to connect with other people who "get me." Small talk is not something Im great at which is wonderful when your a family therapist...not great for making new friends.

Diogie didn't need small talk and always accepted and loved me right where I was crazy and all. There's a good reason dog is God spelled backward. Anyone whose ever had a close bond with a dog gets it and knows the bond is stronger than even with other people. Because of all these reasons and more.

The last 2 months have been really rough. He was wearing diapers cuz he stopped being able to control his pee for almost 6 weeks.

Fyi: for males cut a people diaper pull up in half and secure it with a rubber band. I got L/XL adult men for the biggest pad possible.

This was him after surgery when the vet though she was removing stones and his bladder wall as so calcified with necrosis...dead tissue the tumor had overtaken she could barely sew him up she said. It was pathetic to say the least.

I gave him nightly baths, because it would get all down his legs and stomach, and we only found a diaper that worked the last week of his life...tying from the side. The dog diapers were $1 piece, people ones 30 cents. Great smelling shampoo that got the pee smell out before we figured out the diaper thing and he was peeing on himself all day.

Four days ago his diapers started looking pink but I wasn't sure and was probably in denial. But the day before I had no doubt when it was becoming more blood than pee.

He cried all night in pain and the 3 ultrams and 2 benedryl did not help at all. I would pet him and tell him I loved him and he'd stop for a few minutes,  then start again. It was excruciating to hear and I felt naseous from it.

We called my twin sister and took him to the emergency vet. My older sister was insistent on putting him to sleep, but when the vet agreed nothing really could be done to help since he was "too far gone," i said ok.

Even now though I wonder if i should have fought my sister more. He was only in pain one night, is that really enough to end his life. I think maybe it was just an infection from the diapers although the vet report says he had most likely torn something in his bladder and was becoming septic. Guess ill never know and that hurts.

My big sis was never that attached to him and always looked at him with her germ phobe ways as an annoyance when he was peeing on himself. I didn't like leaving him with her because she was so insensitive about the pee and mess he made. It still makes me mad I let her influence my decision. My mom was really great though. She had these brand new rugs and had to put them up for months.

She didn't complain once even after my sisters baby shower when she couldn't invite her friends over. She loved and accepted him like her own baby. You could tell how much he loved her as "the food lady." But really theres something really gentle and sweet and kindered spirits always recognize each other. He'd get so excited to go on the porch with her when she smoked. He'd spin and make her laugh even till the end with pee flying everywhere. We'd be like "diog stop," and he was just so excited he couldn't help himself.

He was a clown even from the start. I'd say "are u a silly stinker?" He loved the way that sounded and would get even more excited and act like a clown. He loved making people smile. He was so smart too i'd ask, "wheres your squeaker?" and he'd start looking till he found it. Or he would be happy about seeing u and let u know by using his squeaker to show u his excitement.

Diogie was the best dog always listened and we had such a trust i knew hed never hurt me no matter what. He had complete trust in me and u could tell by how he'd plop himself down somewhere and know you'd walk around or over him. I never had to worry about brushing his teeth or cutting his nails its like hurting me was never even a thought he'd ever had. I loved that about him and so much more words could do justice to.

Diogie I hope your at peace somewhere and knew how much you were loved. 12 years was not even close to long enough but I feel lucky to have had them with you my sweet silly boo boo bear(monkey, silly stinker...ur fave). May you have a million squeakers in heaven and kitties to chase!

I love looking back and remembering this! Such a love muffin😭